EPISODE 19 - “Must be nice” with Lauren ruth ward
SHOW NOTES:
Lauren Ruth Ward spends some time breaking down her song “Must Be Nice,” a fed-up feminist catchall chorale, with host Shawna Potter. They talk about the unique way this song was approached, female masturbation, being born a feminist, songwriting when you’re in a band versus as a solo artist, and what it’s like to work with all women after mostly working with men. Also, Shawna begs her favorite place to eat in Las Vegas to send her free food through the postal service.
A multifaceted warrior heralded from Baltimore, Lauren Ruth Ward‘s lyrics are secrets to strangers drenched in raspy power. Ward recently wrapped up her 3rd studio album “numberthree”, which will be released one single at a time. This body of work follows the death and rebirth of both personal and musical relationships and was written, performed, produced and mastered by women only. "Messiah" drops May 31st a week before Ward headlines The Troubadour for West Hollywood's inaugural Pride. Listen to her latest tracks here : "The Break Up Song" "Pain" "Sing In The Shower"
The official sponsors of this episode are Navarro Hair Design, First Defense Krav Maga, and Pupcakes and Pawstries.
Episode transcripts, important links, and ways to support Shawna and this podcast can be found at shawnapotter.com. Everything War On Women can be found at linktr.ee/waronwomen. For bonus episodes, behind the scenes content, and the chance to make special requests and get shoutouts on air, become a patron at patreon.com/shawnapotter.
Thanks to Brooks Harlan for chopping up War On Women’s song “Her?” to create the podcast theme song. Main podcast photo: Justin Borucki.
LAUREN’S LINKS:
A portion of LRW's Bandcamp merchandise proceeds will go to Planned Parenthood as well as the Ukrainian Refugee Fund, give.unrefugees.org.
LAUREN’S READING LIST:
"Hood Feminism" by Mikki Kendall
"Adult Children Of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Lindsey C. Gibson
"Attached" by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller
"Mae Martin's Guide to 21st Century Addiction and Sexuality"
"Mating in Captivity" by Esther Perel
"The Way of Integrity" by Martha Peck
"Loving What Is" by Byron Katie
"Open" by Rachel Krantz
"Facing Love Addiction"
"We Should All Be Feminists" by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
"Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself" by Joe Dispenza
SHOW LINKS:
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
{intro music}
Shawna Potter:
Welcome to But Her Lyrics...the show where we delve into the meaning and politics behind the songs of War On Women and other artists you love. I’m Shawna Potter, singer and lyricist for War On Women - and your host. And it’s what we’ve all been waiting for, a different “Her” to talk about their political lyrics that isn’t me! My guest today is Lauren Ruth Ward, a singer/songwriter who risked leaving her old career behind in order to become who she is, an amazing performer with an incredible voice, and dare I say queer icon with the best rainbow hair I’ve ever seen. Before we get to the interview this episode's sponsors are First Defense Krav Maga in Virginia, navarro hair design out in Seattle, who offers 20% off extension application services for the trans community. Amazing. Pupcakes and Pawstries which hooked up my Rosie girl with a big gift basket. We're still going through some of those treats, she loves em. And - shoutout to my badass patron Melissa P.
You know I don’t want to limit this show by only interviewing punk lyricists and songwriters. I want to leave it open to anyone with that punk rock spirit or ethos, anyone fighting the good fight. And if anyone does, it’s my guest today, Lauren Ruth Ward. She absolutely exudes the most beautiful parts of punk, the IDGAF attitude of I’m gonna do what I want while caring for others - knowing full well that people in power won’t. Her song “Must Be Nice” is the last song on her 2020 album, called simply Vol. II. The lyrics start with “Must be nice to be able to choose what is best for me and more importantly what is best for you.” and goes on to list things that must be nice to experience as a “straight white man” with lots of sarcasm and word play, which are some of my favorite tools for dismantling the patriarchy.
We do talk about it a little bit in the interview coming right up, but first, a little backstory on how we met. We met in a space bubble in Las Vegas. And that’s sort of true, but we were brought together for Noisey’s Emerge Fest with an artist named Rotana to talk about being women in music, the good and the bad. Now, the band did not play this festival. Brooks and I played an acoustic set because there just wasn’t enough money to fly us all out for a one off show, which is very common for us, and it was a little too late of notice to plan a tour around it. So we countered with “well we could play acoustic” and they actually said yes so we basically got to take a mini vacation in Vegas. And that is when I found what might be my favorite place to eat of all time, Jaburritos. So please, Jaburritos, sponsor this show. I don’t want your money on my Patreon, I want that vegan burrito, the Venice? So ship that out once a month. And yes I am serious. This is a real request.
[interview time music]
[interview is transcribed automatically - please get in touch about any errors and ignore time stamps]
Shawna Potter: Lauren Ruth Ward, thank you for joining me on the podcast.
00;00;08;05 - 00;00;10;02
Lauren Ruth Ward
Yeah, thanks for having me.
00;00;11;04 - 00;00;19;26
Shawna Potter
Now I explain it at the top of the show, but I'd like to ask you, what do you remember about that Las Vegas festival where we met?
00;00;20;17 - 00;00;33;16
Lauren Ruth Ward
Oh, my gosh, so many things. It was actually it's popped in my head a couple of times. It was so fun. It was is by a emerge. Right. Which is a kind of merge festival. And wasn't it by NPR or didn't they put it on?
00;00;33;16 - 00;00;34;16
Shawna Potter
Let's say they did.
00;00;35;02 - 00;00;37;17
Lauren Ruth Ward
I thought maybe they were the sponsors.
00;00;37;27 - 00;00;43;19
Shawna Potter
Hey, actually it was. Noisey There's a link in the show notes with a very cute picture of me, Lauren and Rotana.
00;00;44;02 - 00;01;04;25
Lauren Ruth Ward
I just remember they I think it was like an attempt to do in kind of like a South by, in Las Vegas. And I remember being really cool. I remember loving myself, feeling very taken care of. The press was really good. I got to meet you. We got to do that. It was in that. What was that thing that we got to do?
00;01;04;25 - 00;01;27;26
Lauren Ruth Ward
The interview was rotating and, you know, got to play with Star Crawler and Waxahatchee at the bunkhouse. So, yeah, so we weren't actually in the there was like multiple convents, multiple hotels that they were using primarily for like the shows. And they're convention rooms and like all the kinds of places they actually put us right outside of the strip in the bunkhouse alone, which we played before, my love.
00;01;29;00 - 00;01;34;24
Lauren Ruth Ward
And then, yeah, I like in my downtime, the whole band we went to for the whole weekend. I was like, I'm going to the weekend.
00;01;34;25 - 00;01;36;09
Shawna Potter
Yes, yes. Same.
00;01;36;29 - 00;01;44;27
Lauren Ruth Ward
Yeah. They were like, They offered us lodging and we were like, Char, and we saw so many bands perform.
00;01;44;27 - 00;01;49;24
Shawna Potter
And what I remember is that, yes, we did that interview in The London Eye, but in Vegas that.
00;01;49;27 - 00;01;56;06
Lauren Ruth Ward
Was called Vegas is London and it was like rotating. We're like into these questions about how you're a feminist while we're well, we're.
00;01;57;01 - 00;01;59;00
Shawna Potter
Like in the sky and it's like, okay.
00;01;59;00 - 00;02;01;09
Lauren Ruth Ward
I think it's a metaphor for life, actually.
00;02;01;23 - 00;02;12;02
Shawna Potter
Very distracting, but beautiful. Yeah, I loved it. But I also remember running into you at a Starbucks like the morning after both of our shows. We all.
00;02;12;03 - 00;02;12;24
Lauren Ruth Ward
Were there.
00;02;13;05 - 00;02;28;01
Shawna Potter
And like I, you were being so nice and like and like saying hi, but I was like, severely under caffeinated and I was only focused like, got to get in line, got to get in line. And then like once I like place my order, you were gone. And I was like, Oh my God, she thinks I'm such a bitch because.
00;02;28;03 - 00;02;30;19
Shawna Potter
Oh, yeah, you know. Yeah, I got to get in line. Sorry, sorry.
00;02;31;03 - 00;02;50;17
Lauren Ruth Ward
No, no, no. Like those live laughs, love. Like, ask the only one that's, like, certain. It's like but coffee first, you know it's true. I'm also an early bird and I've come to realize that, like many people are not. And I. There's grace. You get all the grace and I'm a I'm an Energizer bunny.
00;02;50;17 - 00;03;02;25
Shawna Potter
That's that's very nice to hear. Didn't make sense why you would agree to do this interview instead of just being like, nope, so good. That's good. Thank you for being so polite. So let's talk about the song.
00;03;02;25 - 00;03;03;26
Lauren Ruth Ward
Yeah, let's talk about it.
00;03;04;02 - 00;03;05;15
Shawna Potter
Album Closer.
00;03;05;18 - 00;03;06;04
Lauren Ruth Ward
Yeah.
00;03;06;04 - 00;03;26;07
Shawna Potter
So that's one that's bold to decide. Let's talk about this album Closer. That's cool. But what I noticed about it is that to me it starts out feeling like a group of friends at a party, kind of fucking around with a song and finding their way through it. And then at some point you realize, Oh no, they know the song, like they know what they're doing.
00;03;27;06 - 00;03;31;02
Shawna Potter
Did you have that in mind while recording? Was that a vibe you were going for?
00;03;31;20 - 00;03;55;14
Lauren Ruth Ward
Yeah. So going to call out the producer who is brilliant. His name is Mountain Ash and his series In the Valley. So yeah, that is Matt Survive. If you meet Matt, he's like a vibe, Daddy. And he's like, Yours are on the show this weekend with my dad and you know, he also he records both digital and analog.
00;03;55;14 - 00;04;17;01
Lauren Ruth Ward
But these these group of songs that I did with him must be nice being one of them. We recorded everything analog and so we did a lot of stuff in the live room. My favorite way of doing it is obviously the whole band doing live and then me at least getting to go back in and I get to have at least like three of the tracks for vocals.
00;04;17;05 - 00;04;34;19
Lauren Ruth Ward
This is one of those songs that it doesn't happen often like this for me, but when it does, it's fun and I know you understand as a songwriter, but I wrote it in like, you know, 30 minutes while I was actually in traffic and I was like, must be nice. I had like seven more anecdotes and we'll call.
00;04;34;19 - 00;04;35;18
Shawna Potter
Them Tear It Down.
00;04;35;23 - 00;05;00;11
Lauren Ruth Ward
Totally. And when I brought it to Eduardo and that Eduardo Rivera, my at the time co-writer, he writes the guitar. When I brought it to the guys, I was just like, Pick your favorite ones. I don't I don't we don't have a chorus. Like, I don't know, like, so that was that was the first. That's the only song I've really ever been super open to being like, Hey, help me put this structure in.
00;05;00;11 - 00;05;23;10
Lauren Ruth Ward
And so that just laid the lay down the foundation for it being very communal. My friend Michelle Shires, who is the photographer and took pictures of those sessions for me, recorded a couple of songs with Matt even. She was like, I was like, I have to quit stand when you pee. Like, I just have to. And then I'm like, Stand when you pee, why don't you stand up at the border?
00;05;23;14 - 00;05;52;02
Lauren Ruth Ward
And then Michelle Shires goes instead of power tripping minorities. And I was like, Yes. So I love you. I love that you picked up on that and asked this question because that hasn't happened. I usually come in fully fleshed out, don't touch my structure. I can be a bit of a and I have demo itis of my, my stream of conscious, you know, mastery of conscious rough draft that I put on my iPhone memo.
00;05;52;14 - 00;06;12;21
Lauren Ruth Ward
I'm like, but I just really want to keep it the same. But I eventually put, I eventually relinquish, but I think it just takes me. I mean, I don't think I'm the gatekeeper for everybody, but I'm the gatekeeper for myself. So if I think that you're, like really freaking cool, then I pretty much seem like the most easygoing person and just let you take the show.
00;06;12;21 - 00;06;23;00
Lauren Ruth Ward
But if someone's just and I'm don't know, like, I want to take your voice and take your song and do this with it. I immediately am just like Scorpio. No, thank you. Yeah.
00;06;23;00 - 00;06;41;24
Shawna Potter
It's your voice. It's your song. It's your name. It's the message that I've been using a band name. It's your fucking name. And so, yeah, it. Everything does stop and start with you. Yes. Was there a particular incident that inspired this response? Was it just the city traffic or or was it like, you know, just brewing for a while?
00;06;42;02 - 00;06;54;06
Lauren Ruth Ward
Right. So November 4th, 1988, I was born a woman. And so living in this world is the moment that made me.
00;06;54;06 - 00;06;58;18
Shawna Potter
I gotcha. Yeah. All the same.
00;06;59;01 - 00;07;28;06
Lauren Ruth Ward
Yeah, totally. I mean, from from like I remember, this one line doesn't make too much sense. Like, it must be nice to not feel the bleed. You can't relate period to masturbation. You come in your sleep. I remember when I was in like, I don't know, air quotes sex ed. We didn't learn. Jack But when I was being handed a diaper size pad in like sixth grade and told that I was about to, but this was the beginning of the end.
00;07;29;25 - 00;07;40;23
Lauren Ruth Ward
And I remember learning about wet dreams and I had started masturbating at a very young age. I was, Oh, well, curiosity did not kill my cat. It only made her feel, Yeah, okay.
00;07;41;15 - 00;07;43;24
Shawna Potter
We all had to make up for lost time. Personally.
00;07;44;02 - 00;08;10;11
Lauren Ruth Ward
Don't worry. I did. Perfect. Thank you for clarifying because that is a concern of mine. Truly, when friends are like, Oh, you know? And I'm like, You better get in there or around there or around there. That's right. Because penetration is in your, you know. But I remember like, you know, knowing what it took to orgasm even at a young age.
00;08;10;21 - 00;08;31;10
Lauren Ruth Ward
And I was like women. You're saying that I'm going to have to, like, carry around these diapers to bleed into, but they can just come in their sleep. I don't know. It just really when you really think about it, I don't know. Because because those two things were taught to me at the same time. And so right now there's there's a much relation, but it is kind of metaphor for it.
00;08;31;23 - 00;08;33;22
Lauren Ruth Ward
Like, you know, as my dad says and it's.
00;08;33;22 - 00;08;34;23
Shawna Potter
Just so easy for them.
00;08;35;02 - 00;08;45;08
Lauren Ruth Ward
Well, yeah, the whole made in the shade you're shitting in high cotton is what my dad says. You're shitting and I cotton and I'm like, yeah, you know, you don't have to wipe your ass. You just just waltzing through life like, oh, this is a beautiful day.
00;08;45;23 - 00;08;50;24
Shawna Potter
Did did writing this song, was it cathartic? Did it feel good?
00;08;50;24 - 00;08;54;23
Lauren Ruth Ward
Super cathartic. And when I perform it, it's super cathartic. Oh.
00;08;55;03 - 00;09;01;23
Shawna Potter
Yeah. And how do you want people to feel when they listen to it? Like, do you want them to get mad? Do you want them to be like, Oh, shit, she's talking about me. Do you?
00;09;02;12 - 00;09;09;28
Lauren Ruth Ward
That's where the control drops off. That's where I just go, like, just, you know, I just want them to feel something.
00;09;09;28 - 00;09;33;24
Shawna Potter
Now, at the beginning of the song and it's a group of people singing, including male voices, which I'm sure like you have a multi gender like band or this group of people that you work with. Sure. But then by the end of the song, not only are the male voices gone, your voice is multiplied. Is this a happy accident or a conscious choice?
00;09;33;28 - 00;09;52;14
Lauren Ruth Ward
I love your I love you thinking that I think that heart, you know, the symbolism is there for sure. And that's kind of in line with what the quite the previous question, which was, oh, what do I want people to feel? And it's like, you know, as a songwriter and musician yourself, it's like you can only feel so much.
00;09;52;14 - 00;10;22;00
Lauren Ruth Ward
And that's what created this song that when you put it out into the ether, it's everyone not tears anymore. Yeah, it's, it's yours and everybody else's. So what they take from it is a totally. Then I'm going to give myself a lot of credit and say rap. I do my little rap. Just kidding. But that like spoken part, it just felt I mean, my phrasing is me and pushing and pulling for it in the in the words of someone who's trying to follow me, it was just natural.
00;10;22;00 - 00;10;40;18
Lauren Ruth Ward
I actually didn't think about it. Like, right now I'm like, Oh, God, I think if I asked people to join in, they would been like, it's going to take me a week to memorize, like the way that you're fitting this. Also, a lot of it pretty sure this song was one of the last ones that we wrote. And I know it actually was, but I remember being like, I really want this on here.
00;10;41;00 - 00;10;58;22
Lauren Ruth Ward
And, you know, Matt Lynch played it for Matt and Edie and they were like, Yes. But with that being said, this ending, I may have written this part because like all the little stanzas are little anecdotes, like must be nice to z to da da da da da da da. Must be nice to all of those. Those are the things I wrote in traffic.
00;10;58;22 - 00;11;19;19
Lauren Ruth Ward
Like I'm telling you, there were like 17 of them. We're like, I could I could keep going. I have a lot I have a lot to say. But this ending, I remember writing this like it needs some sort of thing. It needs a break, you know, it needs a break from these like anecdotal punching bag statements.
00;11;19;22 - 00;11;22;28
Shawna Potter
And was that written in the studio or like right before recording?
00;11;22;28 - 00;11;34;19
Lauren Ruth Ward
You know, I would I would assume I could actually look in my writing journal because I date everything. And I know when it was recording. Yeah, like every even if a new paragraph was written, I just kind of put in the corner like the little date.
00;11;35;00 - 00;11;47;17
Shawna Potter
I try to do that. That's such a good idea. I try to do that. Sometimes when we're actually making a record, I'll go back and like check off, okay, I use these lyrics, I use these lyrics, circle this part that I didn't use somewhere. Save it for the next album.
00;11;47;23 - 00;11;49;14
Lauren Ruth Ward
Never cross it out, never crossed.
00;11;49;14 - 00;11;52;28
Shawna Potter
Into Never grows it out Yeah, you never know But I have a.
00;11;52;28 - 00;11;57;12
Lauren Ruth Ward
Pen going Yeah, I'm excited I love it. Yeah. Pen, pencil and a highlighter.
00;11;59;08 - 00;12;16;27
Shawna Potter
But yeah, I get what you're saying about like the end of the song needing like, something a little different. Yeah, but I just. I just really honed in on, like, now it's just her, and now it's lots of her, I'm sure. I just noticed because I don't know. On our first E.P., we had like some male backup vocals from the rest of the band.
00;12;17;11 - 00;12;23;05
Shawna Potter
But after that, I was like, Let's never have men on our records ever again, you know?
00;12;23;05 - 00;12;41;06
Lauren Ruth Ward
It's yeah, there's, there's the the pendulum is swinging for everybody. And this my my third album that I'm sitting on right now is created with all women, like down to the music videos and the mastering engineer and everyone, the trumpet player, etc..
00;12;41;06 - 00;12;44;03
Shawna Potter
That's great. That's so hard to do, especially mastering to.
00;12;44;03 - 00;12;47;00
Lauren Ruth Ward
Yeah, I'll send you my I'll send you my Rolodex.
00;12;47;16 - 00;12;47;23
Shawna Potter
Okay.
00;12;48;01 - 00;13;08;05
Lauren Ruth Ward
It's interesting. I was like, hey, I'm doing this not because I hate men. I'm doing this because I've never felt this feeling before and I'm just so thirsty for it. And yeah, yeah, I do like a challenge. And I wanted to also feel, you know, we, we have our really good weeks, which are so beautiful and it's nice and sometimes things you have to like shake them up.
00;13;08;05 - 00;13;24;25
Lauren Ruth Ward
And I was feeling like I need to remind myself, I need to kind of snap out of this privilege and remind myself that the fight is not over. I'm going to try to make this album with all women. And it was a challenge. And I was like, I am, Oh, I was angry and cried and tears of joy and was happy.
00;13;24;25 - 00;13;34;26
Lauren Ruth Ward
And not to mention it was like, you know, part breakup album with my ego and breakup album with another human and breakup album with the world. It's Phenix vibes.
00;13;35;07 - 00;13;56;02
Shawna Potter
Like it's sound. It sounds like the challenge of finding that new band was like part of just the challenge that you were going through personally. Like, it just seems like, like, did everything just feed into itself and come out in the, in the music? Or maybe the question is, how do you think those challenges like came out in the music differently than, than other albums?
00;13;56;05 - 00;13;57;25
Lauren Ruth Ward
Yeah, that's a great question.
00;13;58;06 - 00;14;01;25
Shawna Potter
It's okay. It's not that great. Don't worry about it. To answer what you can.
00;14;02;05 - 00;14;28;05
Lauren Ruth Ward
Cue the applause. But that's a great, great question. You know, it did, of course it did in a lot of the songs are just like, it's weird. It's like, I'm a very comfortable person and I feel super fortunate to have worked with these incredible male producers and co-writers, Doug Waters, a.k.a great guru, and David Davis, Matt Pauling, Matt Lynch.
00;14;28;17 - 00;14;50;21
Lauren Ruth Ward
And I'm never afraid to say something around them. I'm actually always congratulated for my lyrics and my talent and I'm always seen. But it is very interesting just to kind of like say that shit and be that feeling. And it was I was observing myself and if I felt like crying, which I'm a big crybaby, I just my body relieves the stress through my eyes.
00;14;50;29 - 00;14;54;05
Shawna Potter
When in a person saying, no judgment here and happiness.
00;14;54;05 - 00;15;15;20
Lauren Ruth Ward
Yeah, totally. I love it. And and I think that all humans are have that accessibility to them. But I know that our men have been just as much brainwashed as are women. It's not it's not the genders, it's the society, in my opinion. And we're just like the we're the messengers for the for the of the poison. Right.
00;15;16;00 - 00;15;37;08
Lauren Ruth Ward
And so, like, I just I remember just there was there were moments where I was like, we got I'm so excited. I want to scream. I want to jump into this or into that or I want to dance and shake my hands or like flash my friend, my but I'm just like a fucking. I'm like, we have this, like, voice that it's like, kind of like Marcel the shell, but like on steroids or it's like, I love you, Gabriel.
00;15;37;18 - 00;15;56;11
Lauren Ruth Ward
And so we're just being kooky and weird. And I know that sometimes, like, when I'm in the room with other kinds of humans, like, I just got to, I feel the need to tone it down. I'm taking full responsibility that it's not them pressuring me to do so. It's really being conditioned by society to be like, Oh yeah, cool, cool, yeah.
00;15;56;11 - 00;15;57;02
Lauren Ruth Ward
It's all good, bro.
00;15;57;02 - 00;15;58;29
Shawna Potter
Yeah, it's a code switch.
00;15;59;06 - 00;16;01;12
Lauren Ruth Ward
It's a code. We love that word.
00;16;01;26 - 00;16;23;23
Shawna Potter
We're doing a code switch. And there I agree, there is a freedom of just being around a bunch of other women or non ses men where I can just like make the dumb voices. Or do you know, like or talk about selling Sunset or something. Not to like gender. I like bad TV because that's for everyone really. But you know, just something.
00;16;23;26 - 00;16;51;02
Shawna Potter
Something that I know someone else is tuned into that I'm also tuned into. That's really what it's about. The specifics don't matter. Yeah. It's that we can do this thing together that these other guys just won't get. And that's fine and they don't have to. But, like, it's a different kind of freedom. And I'm wondering, because of that freedom, did you find like, are there songs on the newest album that are like, must be nice?
00;16;51;02 - 00;16;59;26
Shawna Potter
Like, were you, were you fighting against this big patriarchal thing? Were you talking about sexism in the same way, or were you kind of relaxed and you're like, Let's talk about personal shit.
00;17;00;19 - 00;17;36;13
Lauren Ruth Ward
Suburban Ego is a song that I'm really excited for. It's I kind of have like some glam rock on there and some introspective ones. And then like the in-between Suburban you go is it's three verses with kind of like an end around, which is very interesting. I'm thinking about that in in terms of structure. Yeah, I would say that one has it's like verse one, two and three are like chapters of like of our conditioning and how we're trained and also read black and blue plays and more like the political side of and that was really fun and kind of glam rock.
00;17;36;13 - 00;18;05;25
Lauren Ruth Ward
I co-wrote that with Andrew Martin and Matt Palling, but yeah, and we wrote that during the George Floyd murder and in between going to rallies. But yeah, it was a high. Yeah, I would say the third album is probably more personal, like, Oh my God, I just had so much to say about the breakup and breaking actually breaking up.
00;18;05;25 - 00;18;28;19
Lauren Ruth Ward
There's an ego death in a sense, when you have a breakup because you know, when you merge with somebody, you kind of, you know, your life, your life merges and like there's like this, you know, this thing. Like, who are you with out there doing like. So when I first moved out here and I had been a hairstylist for seven years and I was completely switching lanes to do music and I had never, I think, barely played a show.
00;18;28;20 - 00;18;49;10
Lauren Ruth Ward
This is six years ago. Yeah. And so I was like, okay, well, I have to figure out this new Lauren. And it was so humbling to like go out and something is putting it politely. It was actually kind of very gut wrenching to not have like to not feel like a successful human. And people were like, so what do you do?
00;18;49;10 - 00;19;04;28
Lauren Ruth Ward
And I'm like, I'm a musician, but I felt like a poser because they're like, Oh, cool, where's your music? I'm like, Is this not out yet? Because it's here like three weeks ago? But I swear, I'm a musician. I want to be on it. It's going to be tight. But like to say, was a hairstylist like, Oh, where do you cut?
00;19;04;28 - 00;19;23;05
Lauren Ruth Ward
And I'm like, I don't well, I did, but and so I was just like, Geez, Louise. But I mention that because I had this so you kind of go through this like you are forced to figure out who. Okay, well, who am I? I'm not I can't be like everyone's hair stylist anymore, like because that was my calling card.
00;19;23;05 - 00;19;39;25
Lauren Ruth Ward
And I got, you know, I was respected just like I walk into a dinner and I was respected because three of the girls, I did all their hair. And so other partners and their friends were like, oh yeah. So I you make sense to me and you're successful. And that is huge. Yeah. And you don't have to prove anything.
00;19;40;12 - 00;19;50;12
Lauren Ruth Ward
Right. And then I was just this kind of like lost 26 year old when I moved out here and I just was like, Oh, you're one of those. And I'm like, I can't wait to prove myself into not being one of those. Right?
00;19;50;24 - 00;19;51;06
Shawna Potter
Yeah.
00;19;51;15 - 00;20;21;02
Lauren Ruth Ward
You know, come out here with a dream vibes. But anyhow, when we when I, when my ex-wife split, I didn't realize that we are so much a part of each other. Like you become their partner, that becomes a part of your doing. And I'm a very doting and very passionate partner. And so it was very much so a part of my Oh, I sounds all fucked up, but like my job in life was to be their partner.
00;20;21;10 - 00;20;21;29
Shawna Potter
Oh wow.
00;20;22;04 - 00;20;40;25
Lauren Ruth Ward
That which, as you can imagine, like, was not supposed to feel like that. Yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah. Where do I begin with that? But, but it was great because I was like, Oh, well, if I'm not, it was almost like this is also kind of weird to say, but like the emptiness, it's like, well, if I'm not your mother, where is my purpose in life?
00;20;40;25 - 00;21;01;17
Lauren Ruth Ward
Like, if I'm not your partner, if I'm not your lover, where's that part of me going to go? And I just had to lean in and be like, Well, I have experienced this for and what I did was I created my music and I created that part of myself, not in the way that I am a musician, I'm an artist and I'm a Lauren and I'm a me.
00;21;02;13 - 00;21;23;27
Lauren Ruth Ward
So let me just go in there. And so, I mean, all the songs, it was just going like, Fuck that person, spend time on what you're feeling right now. Just what are you feeling? So some of them are kind of like there's like a swampy kind of bluegrass one because I have two and it's called like feelings. And, you know, then there's there's one about religion and things.
00;21;23;27 - 00;21;42;03
Lauren Ruth Ward
I felt like I really couldn't say because, you know, my ex and people in their life had ties to, you know, white Jesus Christianity vibes and I was like, oh, I'm actually going to say this. And it's just nice. It's just nice to kind of shed. I really leaned in to the freedom of the breakup.
00;21;42;18 - 00;21;48;16
Shawna Potter
And we lucky that we get to have a place to put our feelings when we're really going through it, you know.
00;21;48;16 - 00;21;53;18
Lauren Ruth Ward
I would be such a bitch if I wasn't a songwriter.
00;21;56;25 - 00;22;04;15
Shawna Potter
And I'm living proof you can be a bitch and have a place to put hundreds. Everybody start a punk band. You know, that's absolutely.
00;22;04;15 - 00;22;07;17
Lauren Ruth Ward
We need we need all of the different kinds of fighters.
00;22;08;29 - 00;22;36;17
Shawna Potter
But back to the song, though. Okay, so you fit lines like says White man patriarchy and stand to pee in this song and somehow it works. Right. But there's no there's no hidden meanings to the song, which is kind of like my style with War on Women. Do you tend to gravitate towards telling it like it is with your lyrics, or is this an outlier or are you more like, Let's hide it and metaphors?
00;22;36;17 - 00;22;38;13
Shawna Potter
Or are you like, Here's exactly what's happening.
00;22;38;21 - 00;22;50;02
Lauren Ruth Ward
Now and here's exactly what's happening? This is exactly how I feel. Open to have the conversation with you if I have the energy. But this is my art and I'm entitled to it. And you know what you can do? You can also make your art.
00;22;51;01 - 00;22;52;18
Shawna Potter
And do it the fuck you want with that. Yeah.
00;22;52;21 - 00;23;19;14
Lauren Ruth Ward
No, every single song I. Every single song of mine, I read the lyrics say maybe an adjective or it's funny. The, the, the line that Michelle Shires added to this one, that's I was like, that's the most I've ever taken someone's other someone else's lyrics because it just fit so perfectly. And as a a Mexican-American, she I was like, Yeah, tell me, tell me, educate me and thank you for your $0.02.
00;23;20;13 - 00;23;40;04
Lauren Ruth Ward
Thank you for your education. But yeah, everything go song. I have my lyrics and it's my fight and my my opinion and yeah I don't I don't like to sugarcoat if, if anything ever just seems like I'm listening to the song Lauryn and I have no freaking clue what you're saying. I'm like, Oh, just because I was just feeling really metaphorical.
00;23;40;12 - 00;23;57;25
Lauren Ruth Ward
Or sometimes I do try to. Sometimes I think of the song and someone to be like, Maybe we'll make it. You know how it is in a genuine way. Take that line and just try to make it a bit more universal for the listeners. And most times I can do that, and sometimes I'm just like, I don't care this.
00;23;57;26 - 00;24;04;20
Lauren Ruth Ward
I don't care if no one else wants to hear this song. This one can be mainly for me, and we'll just see if anybody else gravitates to it for sure. But yeah.
00;24;04;23 - 00;24;05;27
Shawna Potter
It just depends on the song.
00;24;05;29 - 00;24;23;04
Lauren Ruth Ward
Just depends on the song. But it's not contrived. It's most of my songs stay stream of conscious and then I go back and I'm like, okay, let me like make that actually make sense or cut out a syllable. But everything is very natural and this is how I really feel is how every is probably what all my albums should be called.
00;24;23;04 - 00;24;28;16
Lauren Ruth Ward
I really feel part to see, right?
00;24;28;16 - 00;24;36;01
Shawna Potter
And it should be it should be understood. Is there anything you wish that I would ask you about the song now?
00;24;36;03 - 00;24;39;15
Lauren Ruth Ward
Now, I love your questions. I really do. It's really nice.
00;24;40;29 - 00;24;43;15
Shawna Potter
Well, how can people find you and what do you want to promote?
00;24;44;18 - 00;25;06;22
Lauren Ruth Ward
Yeah. Okay, so I've got I'm sitting on 14 songs and counting releasing my first single in a couple of weeks, depending on when you hear this, that is the end of May. So you can either wait for it or find it. And then I'm going to be releasing the second track six weeks after that and then 4 to 6 weeks up until the end of this catalog.
00;25;06;27 - 00;25;30;19
Lauren Ruth Ward
I say in counting, because I'm also writing more and what I'm going to do is just kind of releases a singles lot of rebuilding for for Lauren Ruth board team. Right now I've got a new manager and I mean, we all just came out of the caves of the COVID cave and so much has changed. But yeah, a European tour at the top of next year.
00;25;30;19 - 00;25;52;00
Lauren Ruth Ward
And yeah, I've got, I've got a couple, couple emails waiting to hear back from, from some US tours. Cool. But yeah, hopefully the release of this music will, will make people remember that we're still alive and I'm right here and I'm ready. So lots of exciting stuff happening.
00;25;52;02 - 00;25;54;04
Shawna Potter
And we can find you on all the normal socials and stuff.
00;25;54;12 - 00;25;57;27
Lauren Ruth Ward
You can find me on everything with my full name. Lauren Ruth for it.
00;25;57;28 - 00;26;12;28
Shawna Potter
Yeah, my Lauren. Lauren Ruth. Ms.. Ward, thank you so much for joining me on the podcast. It has been an honor to have you on as my very first guest. That isn't me talking about their lyrics, so thank you so much for that.
00;26;13;19 - 00;26;23;05
Lauren Ruth Ward
Thank you so much for taking the time to read the lyrics to my songs and having me on this podcast. I really appreciate you
[transition music]
Huge thanks to Lauren for spending so much time with me, it was so fun catching up and so frustrating to know that if we lived anywhere near each other we’d actually hang out. But alas, tis the curse of opposite coast friendships. Stay tuned to hear LRW’s song “Must Be Nice” in full.
[credit music begins]
You can support this podcast by sharing, subscribing, and reviewing it - it’s free and it helps. To find the transcripts, or find out more about what I do, my book, my trainings, my patreon, head to shawnapotter.com
To learn about all things WOW, head to linktr.ee/waronwomen
We will be on tour the month of August and I want to see your masked faces! So check out our tour dates in the link, and grab a ticket now, RIGHT NOW, so I can see you soon. The next podcast episode will be out in September, but I will bring all my patrons some cool, behind the scenes stuff, exclusive just for them, so if you haven’t signed up yet, do it now at patreon.com/shawnapotter. Thanks for listening, here’s “Must Be Nice” by Lauren Ruth Ward. No, that’s not sarcastic enough, here’s “Must Be Nice” by Lauren Ruth Ward.
“MUST BE NICE”
LYRICS BY LAUREN RUTH WARD
Must be nice to be able to choose what is best for me and more
importantly what is best for you. Must be nice to have a
supported plan. Why do you think you're always right? Oh that's
right, you're a straight, white man. I said it must be nice to be
assured and calm. You walked right into a room everybody
takes a seat in your palm. Not me babe. Must be nice to not feel
the bleed. You can’t relate, puritan masturbation, you come in
your sleep. Must be nice to stand when you pee. Why don't you
stand up at the border instead of power tripping minorities?
Must be nice to have all the money in the world. Sad for you
your priorities are warped, you can even get a girl. Must be nice
to have all the power. Oh but don't lose the key to the
patriarchy, then you'll just be a coward. Must be nice to have an
education. Don't forget to dot the “i” when you crucify us for our
lesser situation. Must be nice to sit back, relax and follow. If you
don't understand what I'm saying man, then you are the
problem. I don't mean to patronize the patriarchy but I'm just
saying, I’m just singing... It must be nice. Female is the
futuristic way of thinking. Don't call me a statistic or say I'm
wishful thinking. Ain't drinking your Kool-Aid of lies. Won't hide
or abide by the rules only made for and by rulers. So we fight
then we cry then we fight then we cry then we fight then we cry.
And for you must be nice.